is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
