Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
