rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
