I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
