Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
