my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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