just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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