So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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