I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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