i wish there were pregnant emoticons
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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