don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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