When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
