so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
