There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
