return my video game
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
