Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i came on her dog
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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