if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
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I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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