Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
