It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
