I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
