Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
