I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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