she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
