We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
