4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize