yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
