I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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