At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
