You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
