she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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