I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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