i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
