My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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