Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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