I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Randomize
