Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
