remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
as a side note pls kill me
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
