i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
