My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
how drunk are you?
Several
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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