Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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