STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
