Just fell off a train. Bad.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
