singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
