why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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