We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
