I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
