Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
