i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
