If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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