I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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