Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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