he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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