Redeem this text for a blowjob
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just gift wrapped bread.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I still have a little drunk in my system
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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