I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
