dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
