So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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