I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
