This girl is more easily done than said...
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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