In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize